Looking at my statistics, I must have some visitors from Snark Central.
A warm and special welcome to the snarklings.
You have landed at Zappadong Main Station, where a grumpy Mr Doorman is desperately trying to stay composed and organised (I'm afraid, he has his own definition of these words), while freaky "Frau" (Miss) Zappadong messes up his life, his building and his visitors.
Frau Zappadong has something to say to everything and anything - none of it pleases Mr Doorman, but as long as she allows him to wear his red uniform with the shiny golden buttons (and visitors blackmail him with muffins), he keeps bearing hope that things (Frau Zappadaong and some of her weird visitors) will change.
While Frau Zappadong is commenting on the state of the world, she tries to find some of these strange French films for her visitors and talk someone into dealing with the contaminated research room (you wouldn't want to know what it's contaminated with - yeak) in a basement floor we didn't even know we had.
So, life is fine here. Enjoy your stay. Fitness room is on floor 32 (or 33?). Sorry, no elevator in the building. Movie room on floor .... (forgot), research room ... (sorry closed) and Mr Doorman at the check in.